4/10/17

Hello fans

I'm so tired. 

My emails get shorter and shorter. 

I get more and more exhausted. 

I'm wasting away..... 

#Darkness 

Just kidding. 

Kinda. 

Sister Gage's Brother's MTC companion is called Elder Whatcott. 

The Elders rescued me from probably 20 black widows this week. #Service

We took Sister Hollenbeck to the mission office to be taken to the airport. All my friends are slowly dying. 

This week I've been working on my transfer goal of reading the entire Book of Mormon in one transfer. It's pretty crazy considering last time I read the Book of Mormon took me an entire year. I'm on track though. I have to read 14 pages per day. I'm in 2Nephi. 

The common theme that I've been getting is that I need to keep the commandments so that I will be close to the spirit. Then when I am close to the spirit I will receive personal revelation. When I receive person revelation I need to trust that Heavenly Father is able to make all his promises come to pass. Then I need to continue to follow every prompting I get and Heavenly Father will work things together for my good. 

I've received the impression that I need to calm down and let Heavenly Father work things out like 5 times per day for the past week. 

Something cool I realized is this:

1Nephi3:7 and 1Nephi17:3 are two scriptures that I really love because they tell you that the Lord will not tell you to do stuff without helping you do it. I always thought that they where scriptures that were saying the same thing.  They aren't though! There's a subtle difference.

1Nephi3:7 And it came to pass that I, Nephi, said unto my father: I will go and do the things which the Lord hath commanded, for I know that the Lord giveth no commandments unto the children of men, save he shall prepare a way for them that they may accomplish the thing which he commandeth them.

1Nephi17:3 And thus we see that the commandments of God must be fulfilled. And if it so be that the children of men keep the commandments of God he doth nourish them, and strengthen them, and provide means whereby they can accomplish the thing which he has commanded them; wherefore, he did provide means for us while we did sojourn in the wilderness.

So when Heavenly Father asks you to do something or gives you a vision of what he wants you to accomplish in your life He opens a way for you to do it and he gives you the ability to take the way. I don't know if that makes sense. I have sleepy brain right now. It's so sleepy. 

I'm so glad I get to be serving in this ward. I love like my whole life. We get to do a lot of service. The people we meet with are so cool. I love them. They're really funny. My companion is awesome. Elder Ball is actually a pretty good district leader. My district is all around pretty good. We have really busy days. 

It's great. 

I never want to come home. 

I cried about it for the first time. 

And the second time. 

I've been struggling lately to bear my testimony in such a way that people feel the spirit. I've been struggling a lot lately with this thing. It's basically that at the beginning of my mission my STL told me that if you don't get along with some of your companions then that's ok because not everyone gets along, but if you start to notice that you experience the same thing with every companion turn inward because the problem is with you. So I've been having this thing with all of my companions and other people too where people can't tell that I love the Lord. When I start to talk about the gospel, or share something in comp study, or have an idea during lesson planning, or talk about something that I've learned my statements are responded to with contention. 

For example I could say something like 

• I want to get a bible and a triple and highlight them according to the doctrine of Christ because I LOVE the doctrine of Christ 
• Well it would be BETTER if you highlighted it according to ALL the PMG lessons.
• Yeah that's what I'm doing with my quad, but I want one for just the doctrine of Christ because it's very important to me and I want to have a thorough understanding of it.
• IT'S NOT THE ONLY PART THAT'S IMPORTANT OK THE PLAN OF SALVATION IS IMPORTANT TOO!
• I didn't say it wasn't I just want to highlight the scriptures according to the doctrine of Christ so I can understand that particular topic better. 
• Well you are going to miss out on receiving so much revelation because you are having such a closed mind and you're ignoring important parts of the knowledge that we have. 
• etc.. 

or like 

• one thing I love is the doctrine of repentance because it is so amazing to me that we don't have to be trapped in one particular frame of mind or behavior all the time
• YEAH BUT REPENTANCE WOULDN'T EVEN WORK IF YOU DIDN'T HAVE FAITH YOU CAN'T JUST ONLY HAVE REPENTANCE YOU AREN'T SAVED BY WORKS YOU WOULD BE NOTHING WITHOUT GRACE SO YOU HAVE TO HAVE FAITH TOO OR IT DOESN'T MATTER etc.

It's really weird. Sometimes I feel like everything that I say about spiritual things is turned into a fight even if I am not trying to fight. Then people say that I'm very prideful and I'm opinionated and I'm really sassy and I want to be right about everything and I'm a know it all and lots of other things that I'm not trying to portray. It's hard. I'm still trying to figure it out. 

I think that people think that I'm really prideful and that I want to be right. Then when I say stuff they naturally react in a way that is like trying to defend themselves because they think I don't care about their knowledge. Then when I say stuff that I care about  they shut me down or something. Then I get discouraged because I feel like I can't bear testimony by the spirit and the fact that I have been fervently praying for charity and humility my entire mission has gotten me nowhere. 

Just as a note it's not causing contention in my companionship. Sister Gage doesn't know why people think that. She did admit that she sometimes has this kind of thought and feeling to though. She doesn't know what I can do differently. Does anyone have any ideas about how I can be more humble? I'm trying really hard. I'm trying to the point that I'm exhausted all the time. Then I'm cranky which can cause contention. 

So that's my life right now. 

Just trusting that Heavenly Father will work everything out and that I can some day be a humble charitable person. Trying to figure out how to speak by the Holy Ghost. Normal stuff. 

Here's some quotes: 

"Sister Seegmiller is talking to President. She's been in there a long time. I think I'm going to starve." -Elder Seegmiller

"Elder Seegmiller get in the picture." -Sister Hunter

"Why? Do you need a rose among the thorns?" -Elder Seegmiller

"Guys I'm sorry I'm so trunky." -Sister Hollenbeck

"You go home tomorrow it's ok!!" -Sister Gage

"Man alive Sister Atchley! I'm going to have to eat my Wheaties!" -President Clark

"There's always a buffer seat between the Elders and Sisters" -Sister Gage

"That's where the Holy Ghost sits." -me 

*Elder Rosenow sits next to me* 

"noooo the Holy Ghost!" -me

"Are you judging my handwriting Sister Atchley?" -Elder Jones

"Elder Lichtenberg has been really patient with me which will be helpful for him when I go home and he's left with only Elder Stevens." -Elder Gee

"You should do what I do when I have a companion that's afraid of spiders and maker her kill her own and get over it." -Elder Gunn

"My brother married a Brazilian and they have a little ginger baby." -Elder Ball

"Whaaat!? My sister is married to a Brazilian and THEY have a ginger baby!" -Sister Calton

"That's crazy." -Elder Gunn

"I'm going to have a ginger baby probably!" -Sister Calton

"What you're marrying a Brazilian?" -Sister Gage

"would you rather be stuck on a deserted island with your significant other and a bunch of romantic music or a full set of magic the gathering cards?" -Sister Gage

"Magic the gathering obviously" -Patrick 

"The problem here is that if you have a full set of magic the gathering cards you don't have a significant other." -me 

"Oh no! That's true!" -Patrick

"If you were a popular children's multivitamin what flavor would you be?" -me 

"uh... ginger obviously." -Patrick

Here's a reading assignment: 

Read 2Nephi9 and think about the plan of salvation. 

 Kingdoms of Glory?