Sister Atchley's LDS Mission: 7/18/2016

So we were at this park contacting. Usually this park is not that full, but this particular day everyone and their mom was there staring into their phones. I'm talkin like the whole of Mission Viejo was out holding their phones up and cussing at Pikachu. Then a guy sprinted by, held up his phone, yelled YES, and sprinted away. That's how I learned that Pokémon Go came out this weekend. It's good because people who have never seen the light of day are now at the park, ripe for the contacting. Also bad because they're like zombies so contacting them is not super effective.

>Sister Missionaries Used Contact

>Teenager Didn't React

We saw this really emo kid on a ripstick cruising around the park. I'm talkin he was wearing black skinny pants and a misfits shirt with the sleeves cut out. He looked up from pokemon go for long enough that I could smile at him. His response was to roll basically his ENTIRE HEAD at me and change directions. #classic. There's a reason I met the missionaries when I did.

We don't have p-day activities at the moment because our zone is out of hand so my p-days have been super productive. For example I took the longest shower of my life last week. I've never been so clean. I was in there so long that the light turned off. If you came to this blog for quality spiritual experiences then you should probably just turn back now.

JUST KIDDING!! We taught Carmen again this week. We showed up and she was TOTALLY SOBER! She even had her hair done normally. We got in and sat down. Now, Carmen usually has like a 30 second attention span. We sat down and the first words out of her mouth were "Ok what's the plan for today?" We were floored. Then we discovered that she READ THE PAMPHLET!! She was so good. She answered all of our questions and understood everything. Then she committed to read the Book of Mormon and pray about it. At the end she said the most sincere prayer I've ever heard and thanked Heavenly Father for sending us to "help [her] grow closer to Him than [she's] ever been before." Never doubt anyone's potential! Somebody might just go from atheist to baptized in ~25 days.

We had interviews with President Clark. He was nice. Sister Clark was AMAZING THOUGH! She is so cool. She is just like offputtingly sweet and super in tune with the spirit. She's my favorite. President Clark is really serious. He forgets to smile sometimes. He doesn't forget to smile at Sister Atchley though. No one forgets to smile at Sister Atchley. Even Elder Mueller. President requested that I thank everyone for their sacrifice in having me be out here on a mission. He also said to say that he and Sister Clark appreciate me. So there you go. President Clark is my favorite because he's like a tortoise. In like a good way. Sometimes I think when I say people are like turtles people take it negatively somehow.

There's some funny stuff from this week:

First of all, Alma14:29 is the most oddly specific simile that I have ever heard.

"I could just listen to you expound scriptures all day." -Hermana Smith

"Hey you've reached Elder Williams

And... Elder Oler.... eh..." -Their answering machine

(Elder Oler is from Canada.)

"Solitare [drugged me]!" -Sister Baker

"Why am I so clumsy around you guys!" -me

"It's cause we're clumsy and it's contagious." -Elder Center

Elder Center roped me... twice.... then he roped a rose bush and had a hard time getting his rope detached. He was going for the lizard. Elder Center says the most hilarious thing you can do is rope a cat's back feet because they get so confused.

I went 5 days this week without dropping or throwing anything at dinner which is a MAJOR accomplishment.

"Did somebody just say the f word followed by Pikachu?" -me

They did

"Could be way worse could be hotter or colder. Could be ugly cats and dogs." -Carmen

"I should put these muffins on the dash here where I can reach them while I'm driving." -Sister Baker

"Maybe you can catch them in your mouth when they fly in your face from accelerating too hard." -me

"Dang! Look at you! And the Holy Ghost! You guys should be companions." -Elder Center

"Oh gosh I'm gonna throw something!!" -me

"I have faith Sister Atchley!" -Elder Center

"Hi How's it going!?" -me

"THERE'S A PIKACHU ON THAT BENCH YO. DON'T WORRY I ALREADY GOT IT!" -A guy we contacted

" I think Elder Anthony thought it was flirting. Good thing I evenly flirted with the whole district" -me

"So... bulk flirting is ok?" -Sister Ward

"It's like Costco... bulk flirting." -Sister Wright

"I imagined going to catch this flyer but missing and punching her right in the face." -Sister Baker

"Let me tell you about my dream!!.... but first lets set goals." -me

"you suck!" -Sister Baker

"Why does he keep touching HER hips!? STOP BEING CREEPY SEAN!!" -Sister Baker working out to T25

"Stop putting stuff in my fridge!" -Bishop Bench

"I just want to be helpful!" -me

"You are already helpful Sister Atchley!" -Bishop

"ok I think I'm just really tired, but when Elder Mueller went to pray I thought he said Germanly Father." -Sister Baker

"ME TOO!!" -me

"The brain was thinking." -Opal

"Brain! What brain!?" -Agnes

"I AINT GOIN IN NO BUSH IN NO FIELD!" -Sister Baker

"When I moved to California I thought a succulent was the most INTERESTING tree." -Susie Southworth

"So I name dropped Agatha Christie and accidently made friends with her and she talked for like an hour. Then we shared a scripture and she went on about racism for ANOTHER HOUR." -me

"Accidently made friends... I wish I had that problem." -Elder Willcox

"hashtag team taco cat!" -Sister Baker constantly

This means something that I will not explain in this email. ;]

The reading assignment is: https://www.lds.org/general-conference/1973/04/yellow-canaries-with-gray-on-their-wings?lang=eng

Love Y'all

So I made Planner covers for everyone in the district.