Monday, March 28, 2016

3/28/2016 The Hardest Week Yet

Dear Dad

This has been a really good week. I've been built so much by the Lord, and, as you may have experienced, when the Lord builds you he doesn't do it gently.

Transfers were a lot harder than I expected them to be. I knew everything that was going to happen, but when it happened it was just crazy and hard. I miss Sister Shober so much, I kinda feel lost without her. I also miss Elder Dayton, our new district leaders are great Elders, but I just apparently can't handle change very well. Who knew? 
So transfers were on Tuesday and for like 3 days after that I cried myself to sleep every night. It was awful. Like I would be perfectly fine all throughout the day and then as soon as we finished nightly planning I would just be a puddle until I fell asleep. Then one night I was praying and I was like "Heavenly Father I don't know what to do please just help me." So the spirit told me to talk to President Orgill. The next morning I woke up and started crying. Like I was stood in the bathroom brushing my teeth and sobbing and choking to death. It was the worst. So I texted President Orgill and said "President Orgill I'm struggling and I don't know what to do. The spirit just told me to talk to you." President Orgill is a great loving man so he told me to come to his office at 1:00. 

My conversation with him went something like this: 

"I'm really upset right now and I don't even know why. I just really miss Sister Shober and it's hard and my life is hard." -me 
"That's normal when you go immediately from being trained to being a trainer. What are you doing about it?" -President 
"uhh praying." -me 
"What are you praying for?" -president 
"like... strength" -me
"What does the Lord give you when you pray for strength?" -president
"oh... trials." -me 

He then proceeded to tell me several stories about prayer and people who pray with great faith. As he was telling these stories I thought back on several blessings I've received and how all of them have told me to pray. The spirit told me that I had been misinterpreting the council of Heavenly Father (this is a common theme in my life....) and that rather than praying MORE Heavenly Father wanted me to be praying BETTER. So since then I've been trying my very best to listen to the spirit when I pray and my prayers have changed. Something President Orgill said to me was that our individual desires may not seem like much in the grad scheme of things, but our Heavenly Father loves us and we are important to him. Therefore, the things that are important to us are important to him. I thought that was so beautiful and I had never considered it before. Another thing the spirit told me was that I personally am not happy when I'm not subject to the will of Heavenly Father. That probably seems super obvious, but it's something that I hadn't realized about myself before. I also realized that it doesn't matter if I REALIZE I'm not being subject to his will. All this conversation happened on Saturday so I was on this crazy spiritual high during women's conference. Women's conference was amazing btw. You need to listen to Sister Marriott's talk she threw down. I want to be Sister Marriott when I grow up. Also they called to repentance everyone who is racist against refugees boldly and directly. 

Yesterday I was fasting super sincerely about how to pray more effective, or rather how to pray the way Heavenly Father wants me to. Bishop bore his testimony and I don't remember the first half of it, but he just kind of changed gears half way through and ended up bearing his testimony of prayer. It was literally like he stopped, listened to the spirit, and then answered my question. Then for the rest of sacrament meeting the Spirit bore witness to me of our savior Jesus Christ as the Spirit often does. (1Nephi11:1-6) My testimony grew so much yesterday, and again this morning during personal study. I don't even know how to explain it except that now I have received a very clear and direct personal witness of our savior Jesus Christ and the truthfulness of His gospel. I wish I could explain how close Heavenly Father and I are right now. We love each other, and I try to do what he asks, and he gives me what he knows I need. This week with Sister Peterson I have been able to feel myself be a instrument in his hands and I have been able to feel the love he has for others. It's been the most amazing thing of my life. I wish I could print my feelings out on the screen, because words can't describe them. 


We were able to teach two lessons during contacts this week which was pretty cool. That's never happened before. One guy really lives in Arizona though so we'll put his info in as a referral. A kid called us over and asked us to tell him what we were talking about. That was pretty cool. 

Everyone and their dog told Sister Peterson that she has the best trainer in the mission. #awkward 
Elder Dayton ran up to her and was like "YOU'RE LUCKY K BYE" I think she was nervous. 


The Assistants and Elder Center made us burgers: 
"I can taste the love" -me
"I made that with love." -Elder Center
"Mine are made with frustration!" -Elder Fuell 

"Did I say this stuff? I didn't know I was funny!" -Elder Dayton 

"Can we go to Moo-ya?" -me (It's not in our area by like one street) 
"Rio de Janeiro?" -Elder Dayton 
"no can we - go to - Moo-ya?" -me
"Rio de Janeiro? Absolutely not that is not allowed." -Elder Dayton
"K but can we just go get burgers though?" -me
"Oh yeah that's fine good trick Sister Atchley ask for something totally ridiculous that you know you're not gonna get then ask for something way less obnoxious k bye." -Elder Dayton 

"If you had a million dollars and you had to spend it in one day, but you can't buy real estate, or vehicles, or put it in a bank, or invest it what would you do?" -Elder King
"Probably buy a bunch of guns or cows." -Elder Center 

"Can I eat one of these ball things?" -Elder Ball 
"Isn't that cannibalism?" -Me 

There was a huge pile of rubble in front of our garage on transfer day. It was scary. 

I think I forgot the reading assignment last week sorry. Your reading assignment this week is page 12 and 13 of Preach My Gospel.

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